Stand at my door
Following you is not easy. In fact, I grew tired of following you many years ago. I just simply forgot to stop doing it. It became habit. Thinking now I can’t remember when I noticed a difference in me. Maybe I was drinking coffee and was struck with the notion all at once. Perhaps it was something that developed overtime creeping through me like a spider crawling on top of sleeping bodies at night.
What do I do now that I remembered? Do I simply forget again or should I do something about it this time? You appealed to me so. Your very nature and need for me so strong that I always felt as though I was locked in as if on a Ferris wheel with a bar holding me in place, going round and round peaking and falling.
Other bonds have come and gone. Ours has remained steady over time breaking that which was important to me all along. Breaking me, no, I was broken long ago.
This time might be different. I have found someone. Found someone again who can cure me of you. If you were here right now standing in front of me I would have the courage to tell you once and for all. I would tell you that you are no good for me. You lied to me. You said that we would make it and be happy. Brother, you lied to me.
If you stood at my door I would cast you away. I would not go with you on your next hunt. It is entirely possible that I never knew what you were hunting. I just wanted to make sure that you would be okay. So I stayed or I went depending on what you needed.
I know I would have the courage this time to dispel you forever with the promise that I would see you on the other side. Yes, that will be my promise to you. Brother, I will see you on the other side.